Day 70 – I think…

Dear Diary,

My three-year-old is struggling…

How could he not be?

Covid-19 – the pandemic that took our way of life to the brink, and forced us all indoors, is having its way with us. It sucks!

We have been in isolation for almost 10 weeks now, and for my kids and I, we are here until June 9th. Sure, they’ve relaxed the laws a little, but does life feel normal yet?

Definitely not.

I’m not even sure what normal is anymore…

My daughter is 10 and incredibly sweet. She misses her friends, but feels glad that the world is “getting a rest.” For her generation, 2020 will be the year they smelled the air, thick with bushfire haze. She cried tears of deep concern, for the fire that simply wouldn’t stop burning. Relief was short lived, as concern turned to fear of an invisible monster – Coronavirus.

Tucked up, safe in our houses, we try to remain grateful and optimistic…

Not always easy.

My boy doesn’t get it. He is frustrated from the constant “No” of it all.

Can we go to the park? No

Can we go to Nonna’s? No

Can Willow play with me? No – she has schoolwork to do…

On the odd occasion that we do get out of the house, the “Nos” increase – three-year-olds want to touch everything!

I started this time in isolation believing that what lay ahead, was a peaceful kind of pause. An opportunity to enjoy my time – my family. To embrace the nothingness of it all. The truth has been quite a bit different.

There are highs and lows – such is life.

But everything feels a little bit extra – especially the lows.

My boy has not got a handle on his emotional output yet. His tantrums are epic and I feel him. I want to scream my head off too. I want to throw things, and cry.

I do cry.

We are all getting through this in different ways, and whatever your version, the struggle is real. Some days, I am Mary Poppins, making everything bearable with a “spoonful of sugar.” Other days, I am Eeyore. And more often than I would like, I am Oscar the goddamn Grouch!

I’m suffering fatigue, and possibly some kind of delirium.

I fully intend to book a hotel room when we get to the other side of this – a room for ONE!

I adore my people, and I know that there are some out there, facing this isolation alone. I can’t imagine that is any easier, but we need a timeout – no one is supposed to clock this much face time.

Here’s what I am dreaming of…

A heated pool, for floating in (just for me.)

Sun on my skin.

Silence.

A meal I didn’t cook.

A to-do list with nothing on it.

A massage – Goddess, do I need a massage.

I mostly just want everything to be ok, because I want to put my daughter’s mind at ease, and I want my son to get some serious Yeses into his life!

Restrictions are annoyingly restrictive.

Melissa Longo

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